Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Irrational Fears

Yesterday, I was driving to Costco with a couple of coworkers, and I made a comment about how I hate to drive behind trucks that have ladders coming out of the truck bed. I am always worried that the ladder might fly out of the truck and come through my window. Andrew asked if it was only ladders that I was afraid of, or if I was afraid of all objects in truck beds that could fly out and hit me. It is only ladders. I think this is rational. A ladder has two poky ends that could potentially hit you square in the forehead and kill you instantly...If one side misses you, the other is bound to hit you...right? Also, if both of the poky ends miss you, it probably means that the ladder decapitated you because the poky ends are on either side of your head, and the step that connects them has cut off your head. Morbid, I realize, but I also think pretty useful information in avoiding a potentially deadly situation! Because of this fear, I almost always change lanes or slow down if I see a truck/ladder combination ahead of me.

The other night, a bunch of us were at Summerfest in Orem, and I divulged another of my irrational fears. When I was young, for sure younger than ten, but probably older than four, I had a fear of getting taller. I know that sounds totally crazy, but I think I was very analytical for a kid, and at the time, it was rational. When I was young, I wasn't very coordinated...and I guess that is probably still true, but I would frequently trip or stumble, and on occasion fall completely over. When I was little, I probably wasn't more than four feet tall....hence the fact I was little. Falling over wasn't fun then, and I was worried that when I grew tall, like six feet, it would be less fun and hurt more. I totally think this is a fear that, at the time, made sense. I have gotten over it though. Since I stopped growing when I reached the towering height of 5'4", I have consistently purchased very tall shoes. My current favorite pair is 5" snake skin print heels, and I wear them with no fear, and I even relish the fact that they make me 5'9"!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Results from Lessons Learned in Kindergarten

My friend Luke invited me to a barbecue at his house this weekend. He lives in Sugarhouse, and I thought that this would be a good opportunity to preview what my new social life might be like when I move to Salt Lake. I went by myself, which made me kind of nervous because it is always horrible to be at a party or some sort of gathering and look around and realize there is no one for you to talk to.

I arrived at his house around 8:30, and I saw that the back gate was open, so I headed directly to the backyard. I looked around for Luke and saw him sitting with a group of people fairly close to the grill. The deal with this barbecue was that you had to bring your own food to grill and bring sides to share with everyone else. I put my kabobs on the grill and started chatting with Luke and a couple of his friends. My food was almost ready, so I went inside to find a plate and fork, but by the time I got back, Luke had left his original post and was standing on the other side of the yard.

I honestly didn't know anyone besides Luke and his brother Heber at this barbecue, and I was a little nervous that I would feel so awkward and make up some excuse to leave early. Well, I got my food off the grill, and found an unoccupied chair in a circle with a bunch of people I had never met. I'm sure they looked at me wondering who I was, and what I was doing there. It isn't that they weren't nice, but they didn't know me, so they really didn't have any way to involve me in their conversation.

I was feeling really lame, and then I remembered...I had brought two bags of candy with me as my "side". Lessons from kindergarten kicked in...if you share your candy, people will be your friends. I found a great moment to break into the conversation when one of the girls was talking about shoes, and then I pulled out my secret weapon, Sour Patch Kids.

I opened the bag of candy while we were discussing shoes. I ate a few pieces, and then asked if anyone else wanted some. A few people took me up on my offer, and then they asked me what my name was. It was like magic. Then I broke out the Kookaburra Licorice, and things really took off. I ended up judging a whistle off in which three people whistled "Hit Me Baby One More Time" by Britany Spears, and I helped choose the best whistler. I also learned how to whistle by cupping my hands together and blowing into my thumbs, and I met someone who had seen one of my favorite movies--"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly", and no one has seen that movie. I had tons of fun!

I got ready to leave a little before 11:00, but before I left, I went looking for Luke to say goodbye. I hadn't seen him in over an hour, but I still said thanks for the invitation because I had a really good time.

Over the course of the evening, my new friend Cory, or Cody, or something like that, kept telling me he didn't want any more Sour Patch Kids, but every few minutes he would reach over and take some from the bag. We all know that we should share our toys, but if you want your friends to keep coming back, it helps if you have an addictive sour coating.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I'm the sun, so back off

It's been awhile since I last blogged because I haven't really had anything bloggable happen to me. The following event wouldn't normally be bloggable, but lately I have been a little on edge with stress and a lot of big decisions, so a normal non-event got me a little more worked up than it should have.

A friend and I had planned to meet at Kiwanis Park at 9:30 tonight to play tennis. I got there a couple of minutes late, and I didn't see her there. I did see that all three courts were already full, and I could see at least three sets of people waiting to play. Obviously the chance of us getting a court in the next 30 minutes or so was slim to none. While I was assessing the situation, someone from one of the courts walked up the hill to my car. I unrolled my window, and he asked if I could turn off my headlights because they were interfering with the tennis game on the courts below. I happily turned my lights off.

At this point, I called my friend, and she said she was on her way. While we were discussing the situation, the same person walked back up the hill and again asked me to turn off my lights. Well, my car has daytime running lights, and while I am sure there is some way, I don't know how to turn them off. There is not an "off" or "auto" on the wand that turns the headlights on.

I was only going to be there for a couple more minutes, so I just told him that I couldn't turn them off. We then had the following conversation:
He said "there has to be a way to turn them off."
I said "I'm only going to be here for a couple minutes, and I don't know how to turn them off."
He said "Your lights are right in my friends eyes, and he is losing his game because of them."
I said "I don't know how to turn them off."
He said "Could you move your car then?"
I said "I'm leaving in less than two minutes"

This whole converastion takes place while I am talking on the phone. Normally, I would have just turned off my car, problem solved. Or, I usually I would not have a problem moving my car. The real problem was I have been super stressed and not all that rational as of late. Also the fact that he was trying to get me to focus on him completely while I was on the phone discussing where else we could possibly play tennis and was already planning on moving my car because I was going to be driving away shortly just elevated my frustration with him. Who was this yea-hoo that thought he could tell me what to do. I know what you are thinking...this really isn't a big deal. I know, I really do know, but for some reason I was really annoyed.

Basically, I ended our conversation by rolling up my window while he was trying to tell me how I may be able to turn off my daytime running lights. Hopefully he doesn't have a blog, or he is probably writing about this super bratty girl he met in the parking lot of Kiwanis Park. Anyway, if it was up to me the end of our converastion would have gone like this.

I would say "I'm leaving in just a couple of minutes, and you should tell your friend that this is a lesson on why we switch sides after every odd game in tennis. He should look at me like any other annoying element when you play a sport outdoors...I am the sun, so back off!"