Sunday, July 18, 2010

I See Dead People

Every dead person I know rests in Nephi. Okay, there are a few exceptions. But every dead person who I would deliver flowers to on Memorial Day rest in Nephi. So, there is one exception, and he rests in Moroni, which isn’t that different than Nephi. And, unless I’m with my mom, I’m probably not delivering flowers to anyone. But that isn’t the point. The point is, one day, I want to be one of those people. Not the flower delivering people, the other people, the dead people in Nephi.

Ever since I can remember, my parents have discussed where they are going to be buried. No, not as in what town they will be buried in, but where in the Nephi City Cemetery will they be buried. They both grew up in Nephi, and they both have family plots in the cemetery there. My mom always says they should be buried with her family, because the Hall family plot is at the top of the cemetery, where fewer cars drive, and it is shadier. She thinks it seems more pleasant to be in a quieter part of the cemetery. The Ostler family plot is closer to the center of the cemetery, and it is by as major of an intersection as there is in a cemetery. I don’t remember for sure, but it seems like the roads in the cemetery are dirt, so being by such a busy road might make the area too dusty for her final resting place. It makes sense to choose your burial plot using the same criteria you would use for choosing where to build a house, right?

It is odd to think about where you are going to be buried. I went through a phase where I was very concerned about where I was going to be buried. I was in my mid twenties, living by myself in Denver, and I would drive by a huge cemetery almost every day. It was very close to the Casket Mart, Discount Cremation, and other death-centric stores. I got very worried that if for some reason I died when I was living in Denver, I would get buried in this huge cemetery, and everyone would forget about me, and no one would come and visit me. It would be like one of those movies where the girl is taking flowers to her mother’s grave, and notices a crumbling headstone with weeds growing over it. She takes it upon herself to pull the weeds, wipe off the grime, and care for the headstone herself, purely because she feels such pity for the lonely soul buried below. You haven’t seen that movie? I’m not sure I’ve actually seen that movie either, but I’m sure it’s out there. Or it will be…when my blog gets made into a movie.

My mother, being the good mother that she is, calmed my fears by telling me that obviously I would be buried in Nephi. I have taken comfort in knowing that I will end up surrounded by friends and family,…that is until last week. Over the past few weeks, there has been some discussion about how each family will be allocating the plots. While discussing this with his brother, my dad had to concede that he will probably be buried up with the Hall’s. My mom had to call someone in her family to determine how many plots are left in the Hall section. There are eleven. She was telling me this on the phone and was going through the list of people who are quite possibly planning on being buried there. The list was long. Very long. With people I hadn’t even heard of before.

By the time she was finished, I was starting to worry that my place in the family plot was not secure. I voiced this concern to her thinking that my mother, being the good mother that she is, would calm my fears and tell me that obviously there would be room for me. Well, she didn’t exactly say that. She did offer to let me be cremated and placed on top of her headstone. What!? Now I am being forced to be cremated? Just because I might outlive eleven other people? This is totally unfair!! Two of the eleven spots are really already spoken for. And then, you add my parents onto that, and that makes four already taken, so there are only seven left. That isn’t very many. There should be some contest to allocate the remaining spots. I could study up on my family history and win a game of Ancestry Jeopardy, thereby guaranteeing me a spot in the family plot.

I guess technically there already is a contest. A race to the “finish”, if you will. But that leaves the questions, if I get there first, does that make me the winner or the loser?