It was probably about a year ago that my mom was with a group of her friends in Panguitch, UT at some sort of quilting retreat. The women made a quick stop at a gas station to fill the car up with gas, buy a snack or a drink, or whatever they decided they needed. My mom had the following, very unexpected conversation with the gas station employee...
Gas station employee (GSE): Is that everything? (As my mom puts her items on the counter)
My mom (MM): Yes. Oh, wait. Do you sell chewing tobacco?
GSE: Yes
MM: How much is it?
GSE: The cheapest is $5.00 (I don't actually know that he said $5.00, and I honestly don't really know how much chewing tobacco costs.)
MM: Okay, I'll take one.
As this was going on, my mom's friend was standing behind her, waiting to make her purchase. This was the first she had heard of my mom picking up a new "chewing" habit. Her eyes got wide, and when my mom realized there was an observer of the situation, she couldn't go through with her purchase. She realized how crazy she sounded, and she and her friend started laughing uncontrollably. Needless to say, she left the store without her "chew".
A couple of days ago, I stopped at my neighbor Maren's house. As I was walking in, our neighbor walked out of his apartment to go smoke on the stairs. When I walked into Maren's, my opening remark was "I'm so glad I don't smoke in the summer. It would be so awful to have to sit out in the heat and smoke. I think it would be worse to smoke in the summer than in the winter." Maren's mom was staying with her and was in the room as I made this comment.
I later learned that this comment made me a smoker. I'm just the kind of smoker who doesn't smoke in the summer. From everything I know about smokers, being one myself, this is a very common way to smoke-I call it seasonal smoking. Totally makes sense. I think I might just chew Nicorette gum in the summer, you know, to avoid the heat.
Okay, so my mom doesn't chew tobacco. She never has, and I'm pretty much 100% sure she never will. I think she heard that you could mix chewing tobacco with some other household ingredients to get rid of slugs or spiders or some other creepy crawly creature in your garden. She just happened to pick a very odd time to start collecting the bug repellent ingredients.
And, no, I don't smoke. Maren's mom just grossly misinterpreted my comment. Granted, she had to reach pretty far to turn me into a smoker, even a seasonal one, but maybe she had heard about my mom and her chew. Like mother, like daughter...right? Right!
