Recently, a couple of my friends have told me about being "faux" rejected. I could totally sympathize with them even though I had never personally experienced this crazy phenomenon. That is until this weekend. I totally got faux rejected on Saturday night, and I am very upset!
Some may ask, what is faux rejection? Let me explain by describing my own experience.
A bunch of my friends went out to dinner this weekend. As we were walking out of the restaurant, one of my friends came and put his arm around me. My natural reaction was to then put my arm around him. I thought he was going to say something like "how was your dinner", or "how was your day". Instead he said "Does this make you uncomfortable?" Now, why would that make me uncomfortable? We are friends, and I didn't assume his arm around me meant something else. I told him this, and instead of having a normal conversation, he then turned his head and kissed me on the cheek. Yep, he kissed me on the cheek. Now I was slightly uncomfortable, but I still didn't make any crazy assumptions, and just laughed about it and started talking to everyone else.
No rejection so far....right? Keep reading! It was probably 60 seconds later, and I had started to discuss a different topic with someone else when the rejector came up to me and said "don't be too excited, I was just kidding around." That made me feel totally rejected and confused! I didn't do anything to make him think that I thought he was coming on to me....did I? I'm not interested in him....am I? I didn't, within 60 seconds, become a crazy girl who reads into even the most minute actions...did I? The answer to all of these questions is NO! But somehow I still got rejected.
I think the lesson to be learned here is always be the first to reject. Read into everything that anyone does and make sure you feelings are vocalized immediately. Do not hold your tongue just to save someone else's feelings. You may be tagged as a crazy person, but you will not be a victim of the faux rejection!
4 comments:
That is simply not cool. Those things don't happen to me though, because if he had put his arm around me and asked if I felt uncomfortable, I would've said "Yes, you FREAK!" and run away screaming. Well, maybe not so much with the screaming, but I would've been out of there quickly.
But at least you got a good blog post out of it. That's how I rate events in my life now--if it's blog-worthy, then it was probably productive.
Dumb boys!!! I don't understand how they get into our heads like that, especially when we are not even interested! Lame!
Boys suck. that is so lame. You are a bloggin naturale. I'm so happy you have joined the ranks. I'm linking you.
sounds like a typical insecure guy who trys to feel better about himself by trying to manipulate girls emotions. then he can feel like he was desirable b/c he was the one doing the faux rejection.
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