Two cities and a town

I have been known to add certain words to my vocabulary that make most other people say "huh?". A few of these are things like groshe, sassy pants, "H" no, and rockstar. A few vocabulary items have been making a strong showing lately, and as a service to my friends and family, I am defining them below.

Yum City: The population of yum city is vast and varied. Some of the most recent additions include rice pudding, sweet potato fries w/dipping sauce, and Joel McHale. New residents are always being added, but lime popsicles, snow cones, chic-fil-a chicken nuggets, Dole Whips at Disneyland, and George Clooney are long time residents. I am the leader of yum city, and I can include anything or anyone in the population. Something is included once it is deemed to be "yum city". Example: "mmmm, these french fries are yum city." This also works when referencing people, but people can also be inducted into the community just by called them "yummy". Example: "Jim Halpert is yummy."

Sketch Town: Sketch Town is a location within Shady City. The residents of Sketch Town are slightly mysterious and sometimes a little scary. A new resident was added tonight, and it's name is La Puente. La Puente is a Mexican restaurant located on a dark street, and at 7:00 on a Saturday night it had two guests: me and my friend Natalie. I think the restaurant may be a front for a money laundering operation.

Shady City: The residents of Shady City are more familiar to me and usually make me somewhat uncomfortable. My across the hall neighbor is totally Shady City! I think he is growing pot in his front window, and for the last week or so I thought his wife was dead in their house. I hadn't seen her in awhile, and the most logical conclusion I could come up with was death. It may have been an extreme conclusion, but her husband is Shady City, so I was a little suspicious. I saw her last night, so maybe she was just on vacation or something.

I don't lead Sketch Town or Shady City, I just dictate who resides there. A declaration that something is Sketch Town or Shady City is binding and cannot be undone without an official decree by me. That makes me pretty powerful, so let this serve as a warning...here today, sketch town tomorrow.

Baby Neutral

I'm a single girl who may or may not have children one day. Don't get me wrong, I love my nieces and nephews-they are all super cute, but I am not one of those girls who is baby hungry. I usually don't have strong feelings one way or the other, but sometimes things change. Sometimes my nephews are so cute, I think, how could I not want one of these? Hearing those little voices begging "Aunt Cole" to have a sleepover or jump on the trampoline can make my heart melt. But, those same voices can also get really loud when fighting with each other. And sometimes their hands are really sticky. And don't get me started about changing diapers...actually I couldn't start, I have a no diaper changing policy.
Well, there is something new that is making me tilt toward the no baby side. I work with a girl who had a baby a few weeks ago, and while she was pregnant she entered a contest where she could win a nursery by having the best "baby bump". She posted her picture online, and then everyone if the office went online to vote for her. There were probably 200 entries, so we had to look at a lot of baby bellies, and some were really gross. This didn't really phase me, but that all changed today.
I had a little extra time at work today, and I was reading through some blogs (aka blog stalking), and I came across one from a girl I worked with in college. There was her naked baby filled belly, and it was gigantic. It totally freaked me out. It was like a train wreck, and I couldn't look away. The belly was huge. It was like there was a mutant in there!
I feel like I should have had a different reaction. Why don't I see that belly and think "how beautiful". Instead it makes me think "never". I think I need some serious cute niece and nephew time to push me back to the other side or at least make me baby neutral again.

A few thoughts on candy

As I reflect on this past Halloween season, there are a few important lessons that I have learned.

1. Fun size snickers are the best size snickers. The miniatures are too small and don't have the correct proportion of carmel/chocolate/peanuts/other chewy stuff.
2. Full size twix are the best because there are two. One for now, one for later. Or, both for now.
3. Nerds are too sticky. My nephew Owen tried to share his nerds with me on Halloween night, and when he tried to put them in my hand, they were stuck to his. Gross.
4. Bit-O-Honey are for the mature candy palate. I didn't think I liked them when I was a kid, but now I love them. Especially if they are fresh and still kind of soft.
5. I love candy.