Poor Fashion Choices

I don't claim to be the most fashionable person, but I consider myself to have pretty good fashion sense. I think that qualifies me to judge other people on their poor fashion choices. Today, everywhere I looked, there were people who needed me. They needed my criticism and advice, and I really think if I would have given it, I could have improved their day, if not their entire life!
We do not have a dress code where I work. Sometimes I wear slacks, sometimes I wear jeans, and sometimes I wear a skirt with flip flops. It's pretty much an anything goes kind of place to work. I have always enjoyed this aspect of my job (even when I dislike pretty much everything else), until today. We have an in house lawyer, and his fashion choices are a bit hit and miss. One day he will be wearing a suit and tie, and the next day he will be wearing purple corduroy pants and a braided belt. I know...scary. Today was the craziest that I have seen. He came into work around 9:00, and he was wearing track pants and a long sleeved Under Armour shirt. In addition, he was wearing some pretty sweet sandals and white tube socks. When he walked by my office, I gave him a funny look, and then worked on holding in my laughter. I kind of thought he would be in and out, since he was dressed to go to the gym, but nope, he was in the office until around 4:30. I probably should have said something to him, but instead I just talked about him behind his back to everyone else in the office.
The bad fashion did not stop there, but that was the most glaring example. I had another run-in with a fashion disaster at Costco during my lunch break. While I was standing in line to check out, I noticed the girl in front of me was wearing sweatpants with something written on the bum. You know the sweats from places like Victoria's Secret that say "Pink" on the bum...she was wearing those kind of pants. But hers must of been very old, or purchased when she a quite a bit smaller. The silk screened words across her rear had stretched to the point where the silk screen had one large space right down the middle (basically down her crack). It made her look ginormous!! If you are confident enough to have words across your bum, look again to make sure they are having the desired effect.
The third and final fashion mistake occurred as I was leaving work. It was Crazy Janet's last day at work, and she was passing along the last few piles of paperwork to Jennifer and I before she left, and I noticed her zipper was down. Now, this would just be embarrassing normally, but this was the second time I had seen this occur in the last week. And, both times it was in the same pants (white jeans). This causes me to believe that these pants have an actual problem with the zipper. I mean, who actually forgets to zip up their pants more than once a year. It seems like if you forget once, paranoia sets in and you double check that your pants are zipped about 50 times a day. So, the final lesson is if your zipper is malfunctioning, don't wear the pants!